Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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