Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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