So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
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I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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