She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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