He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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