I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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