wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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