Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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