I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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