He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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