but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize