he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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