I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
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Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
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I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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