Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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