I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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