Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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