why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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