Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Blood and glitter go together right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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