He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize