Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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