Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize