We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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