just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize