you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize