from now on my penis is your penis
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize