Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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