you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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