I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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