hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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