I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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