ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize