Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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