just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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