so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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