Soap is not a condiment
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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