I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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