btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize