i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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