Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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