I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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