Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize