Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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