And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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