Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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