there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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