i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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