I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cockslap morals
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dick very happy bro
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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