Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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