Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize