You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize